Has someone ever hurt you? Whether they’ve done something intentionally or unintentionally, it’s quite easy for us to feel hurt over someone’s actions or inactions. What do we do with that, though? How do we move on? Let’s look.
Thinking about my journey, it’s easy to identify a number of times that I have felt hurt. My example comes from my church. I used to be heavily involved in everything and yet when my depression hit and I disappeared, no one really got in touch. A few people messaged for a few weeks but once it became apparent that this was a long-term problem, people stopped messaging. It really didn’t do much for making me feel important and, in all honesty, it still hurts. I thought that it was a church family and yet no one bothered to help me after the first few weeks.
I’m sure you can think of other examples. Relationships that have broken down, coworkers who have done the wrong thing, even parents or children who have done something wrong. But what do you do when someone hurts you? How do you deal with it?
Wouldn’t that be easiest? To say “stuff them” (or whatever variation of that you would prefer, as there are quite a few) and try and treat them horribly? “An eye for an eye” would be quite applicable here, would it not? Do to them what they’ve done to us, let them know how it feels. It would make us feel better, teaching them what their actions have wrought.
A lot of people say that doing that would make it all better. You get to teach them a lesson, you get to exact some form of revenge and you also get the joy of watching them suffer. Sounds great, doesn’t it? But is it?
Looking at the world today, I’d say that there is enough of that sort of thing. How many revenge killings do we see in the news? Stories of people getting even in some way. Don’t you think there is enough hurt in this world that we could do with spreading a little bit of the opposite? It’s harder, true, but so much better.
Don’t Let Them Change You
I don’t know about you but I would say I’m quite a nice person. When someone hurts me, my first thought isn’t to hurt them back. Usually, despite it taking a lot of time and considerable amounts of pain, I try and forgive them. It might just be who I am, but that’s what I do. Still, that set me thinking: what would happen if I did to them what they’d done to me? What would that make me?
My advice to you: don’t change. Whether you think you’re a nice person or not, if you wouldn’t treat them the way they treated you, then don’t. As clichéd as it might sound, forgive and forget. Why should their bad actions turn you into a bad person? If you wouldn’t do it, then don’t let them change you into someone that you’re not.
If someone hurts you, give them a second chance. Perhaps give them a third chance. In fact, give them as many chances as you want to (within reason) to make it right. If they won’t then walk away. That’s all there is to it. Forgiving them is between you and them, as no one else needs to know. However, don’t let them turn you into something that you’re not.
I know it’s hard when someone hurts you but you have the wonderful opportunity of being better than them. If you’re not a nasty person, don’t become a nasty person for the sake of revenge.
Take care, guys.
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