It’s OK not to be OK

I’m not OK…

In today’s society, there is often a lot of pressure to be OK.  Whether we’re having a good day or a bad day, we’re almost expected to say we’re fine, that we’re OK, that everything is alright.  Do you feel that?  I know I do.

Wake up -> pretend I'm OK -> sleep -> repeat

More often than not, I find I’m trying to get through the day pretending I’m OK.  It doesn’t matter whether I’m on the verge of falling apart or not, it seems to be my go-to answer.  Is that something that you do?  A lot of my friends do.  I guess we’re all just caving into that pressure from society to put that face on and to pretend that we’re alright.  It’s part of the reason that I wear my mask.  I’m sure I’m not the only one.

With so much pressure to be OK, we often find that we put that face on and worry that we have to appear normal, perfect.  Nothing can be wrong in our lives because that simply wouldn’t do.  Perhaps it’s just me, though I don’t think so.  It’s like that line from Let It Go in Disney’s Frozen: “Don’t let them in, don’t let them see…”  We want to hide that we’re not OK, that we’re breaking inside.

But do you know what?

It’s OK.

It’s OK not to be OK

Exactly what it says on the tin: if you’re not feeling alright, if you’re not fine then don’t worry because that’s absolutely fine.  Having a bad day?  Struggling to find something to hold onto?  Not only are you in good company, as I’m sure everyone else reading this will tell you, but you’re also wonderful just the way you are.

Truth is: we don’t have to be OK.

Don't let a bad day make you feel like you have a bad life.

That’s right: we don’t.  Every single one of us is only human, we have our bad days.  If you’re struggling then you’re allowed to be struggling.  Don’t beat yourself up if you feel like you’re not where you should be. Everyone has those moments, it’s all part of the journey.

No one ever said the road was going to be perfect and easy.  The road to recovery is difficult and painful and there will be many times that we stumble and fall.  Whether we hit rock bottom, make a mistake or relapse completely, it’s OK.  You’re a work in progress and on the road to recovery.  It’s to be expected.

You will be OK

One day you will.  I can’t tell you when, whether it’s months or years or even decades, but one day you will get through your struggle.  It may not be in the way you expect, as you may never be free from your mental health condition, but you will learn to cope.  Together we can make it through.  Just like the butterfly in my last depression support post, your struggle will shape you into something beautiful.  So hold on.

As I said, you may relapse or make a mistake but that’s fine, you’re allowed.  Just remember that you’re worth it and you will get through.

Stay strong!

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Become a PatronDisclaimer: I am not an expert, nor am I medically qualified.  This blog is based on my personal experiences only.  Always seek medical advice in the first instance.

Author: Alex Davies

Alex Davies is the creator and writer for Pushing Back the Shadows. Find out more about his journey here and connect with him on Facebook, Google+ and Twitter.

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