A Man Called Bob

A Man Called Bob

When you throw a stone into a lake, you see the ripples expand.  It can be quite mesmerising to watch.  It’s also a source of encouragement.  When we cause a splash, we don’t know how far the ripples of our actions will reach.

And it started with a man called Bob.


That ripple I’d mentioned came from my friend’s request to allow her sister access to this blog so she could better understand her husband’s depression by reading some of the explanations I’ve put up.  Whilst reading some of the things I’d written, she had found some answers to some of her questions and my writings had also helped her to understand some of the reasons behind some of the things he does.  A classic example of this would be how he puts on a mask like I do, even when it is just them, exactly the way I do.  There were a few other examples but I don’t need to go into too much detail on here.  After all, it’s not my story.

Somehow my explanations made it clearer and helped her gain a better understanding of it all.  Naturally, hearing that gave me a boost.  Yes, I used that blog to pour out my thoughts and emotions, releasing them.  That said, the blog had also helped someone.

Another ripple has been created.

The CD

Two or three days ago now, my friend sent me a message.  After reading my blog a bit more, her sister had decided she wanted to make me a CD that contained a compilation of relaxing music, designed to help me unwind.  I’ve given it a go and it does seem to help me unwind a bit, so I’m quite grateful to her for that, although in the end she did not make the CD.  My friend’s message explained why.

My good news stems from the husband, who, for the sake of anonymity and his own privacy, shall be called Bob in this post.  According to my friend, Bob had heard his wife had read some of my blog and was starting to understand his struggle better thanks to the words I’d written.  I don’t know quite what transpired but somehow he ended up reading this blog as well and apparently he found something in it that he has been able to connect with.  I don’t mean connecting with the feelings of isolation or how we feel like no one truly understands or anything like that, I mean he found something in my struggle that he could identify with and that has unlocked something inside him.

Around this time he has found out his wife was going to make me that relaxation CD .  He decided he wanted to do that for me instead.  Once he had made it, he then went to his in-laws’ house to meet my friend so he could deliver the CD, making sure it would reach me.  While he was there, he also managed to spend some time with my friend’s daughter.  That is something that has not happened in a long time.

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What of it?

I can almost hear you thinking I’ve gone mad.  A man I’ve called Bob made me a CD, met my friend and spent time with her daughter, what of it?

Well, allow me to explain just how amazing this news is.

Bob has struggled with his depression worse than I have, for it’s kept him virtually housebound for a while now.  Unless his wife or his in-laws or parents encourage him massively, he doesn’t leave the house.  Like me, he finds it hard to find the motivation to do anything.  For him to decide he was going to make that CD for me and motivate himself enough to do so was a big step forwards for him.

As if that wasn’t big enough, though, for him to then leave the house and make the effort to get that CD to someone he knew would be able to deliver it, that is just incredible!  Whatever part of the blog he read, whatever part of my struggle he has connected with, it gave him the motivation to do this for me.  If I’m honest, I’m somewhat staggered by how it’s made me feel.

The Purpose

When my friend messaged me this news, she said she couldn’t thank me enough.  Seeing him spending time with her toddler made her feel so elated and she was so pleased he had been able to leave the house.  Although, like me, he may not be out of his prison yet, my friend firmly believes I’ve managed to help him unlock the door and open it a little.  To me, that makes it all worth it.  To hear that my struggle has managed to help someone else, even just a little, is an amazing feeling!  Suddenly I wouldn’t change any of it, even looking back at the pain and suffering it’s put me through.  Even if Bob is the only person it helps, it is worth it and I wouldn’t change that.

And that’s because of a man called Bob.

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Become a PatronDisclaimer: I am not an expert, nor am I medically qualified.  This blog is based on my personal experiences only.  Always seek medical advice in the first instance.

Author: Alex Davies

Alex Davies is the creator and writer for Pushing Back the Shadows. Find out more about his journey here and connect with him on Facebook, Google+ and Twitter.

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