Pick of the Week Time!

Coping

Yes, it’s that time of the week again. For me as editor to take a minute, look through the blog and make my recommendation.

This week has been a difficult one for me, with personal stresses and strains escalating to the point of utter distraction. Thankfully,  due to the support from some incredible friends and family, I’ve coped.

I’ve survived.

For the first time this week I’ve now got a quiet few minutes to formulate my thoughts and resume my role as editor. My initial thought was for the post on Anxiety-Managing the Attacks, and I would highly recommend giving it a read to anyone trying to manage them.

But I’ll be honest, this weeks pick is from a far more personal place. I very easily could have completely fallen apart this week and slipped back into old habits to cope. And yes, there have been times it came close. But due to the wonderful support of certain extremely special people, I’ve gotten through.

The post Just Hold On is something that has helped me incredibly this week.  There have been times when I have felt like I’ve barely been able to function and I have beat myself up for the things I haven’t been able to do.

But you want to know something?

Its OK.

There’s been times when all I’ve been able to do is breathe and that’s been OK.

Reading that post two sleepless nights ago, it reminded me that it was OK. It gave me hope and a certain degree of peace.

So, if you’re struggling that’s my recommendation. Read Just Hold On.  It helped me, maybe it’ll help you too.

Why not subscribe?

Subscribe today to receive a free chapter from my eBook “Pills and Blades”, a subscriber-exclusive podcast episode and more!

Become a PatronDisclaimer: I am not an expert, nor am I medically qualified.  This blog is based on my personal experiences only.  Always seek medical advice in the first instance.

Let’s Talk About It

I know, I know. It’s something of a cliché but, as editor, I must say this phrase to Alex at least once a week. An idea forms and he wants to run with it straight away. Sometimes my job as editor is to put on the brakes a little and get a discussion going first.  Let’s talk about it.

We’re only Human

Everyone has that moment where we say or do something out of emotion in the heat of the moment. Be it excitement or anger, our feelings can carry us away and we can end up making mistakes.

I’ve done it. We all have.

Our internal editor fails to kick in and we have to then watch the consequences unfold. Sometimes it’s something we say without thinking, a text sent from a place of anger, a Facebook post we haven’t thought through, or even shutting someone out…we all do it.

We then just have to deal with the aftermath.

How do we move on ?

Here’s the more simple thing. We talk about it.

Take a beat and just talk about it.

I’ll give you an example. A good friend of mine made a comment about how I handled a situation with one of my children. There was nothing wrong with what they said, it was perfectly correct. Due to my own stresses and issues in that moment though, I handled the criticism badly.

So what did I do? Did I talk to my friend about it ? No. I actually shut them out. I stopped talking to them, wouldn’t look at them for the best part of an hour. (Bear in mind this was while they were in my house!) And it hurt them.

My response was from a place of hurt and anger that was being driven because I was in a spiral.

And I hadn’t told them.

That’s the thing. If I’d said something sooner that I wasn’t doing well that day the situation would have been different.

Thankfully, we did talk about it, eventually.  The phone conversation was over an hour, but it made us both realise that if we’d each handled things a little differently it would have been a lot simpler. In short, we needed to be mindful of each other.

Alex’s post about Mindfulness from the Talking Things Through series went up this week.  It’s my recommendation for this week but I also want to add for everyone to take a minute and talk.  When a situation has gone bad, take a beat, be mindful and talk .

Why not subscribe?

Subscribe today to receive a free chapter from my eBook “Pills and Blades”, a subscriber-exclusive podcast episode and more!

Become a PatronDisclaimer: I am not an expert, nor am I medically qualified.  This blog is based on my personal experiences only.  Always seek medical advice in the first instance.

 

Finding Light in the Dark

It’s a Little bit Funny

Thats something my youngest child comes out with, usually when I’ve done something clumsy. I’ve done my usual walk into something or dropped something. I’m standing there being frustrated at others for laughing and berating myself for my clumsiness, when a little voice invariably chirps ‘but it’s a little bit funny.’

And I then see that it is.

Because this little innocent isn’t laughing at me, they’re laughing with me. To them it’s just a part of what makes mummy who she is and they love their mum.

Love Your Flaws

You see, I hate that I’m clumsy. It drives me nuts that I can’t seem to go a day without breaking something. On my darker days, it can become another thing to add to the list of flaws that will drag me into a spiral.

But to my children and some of my friends it’s part of what makes me me. They wouldn’t change it.

It might be a cheesy line from a dating app advert, but someone does love your imperfections. Those people are your light in the dark. They are the ones you can reach out to when you feel like you’re drowning.

My Point?

When I was trying to decide what to choose for my recommendation this week, I’ll be honest I was a little stumped. Sometimes it’s difficult to pick just one thing.

So this week I’m actually making a few. The first recommendations are for all of you who are struggling; Inside my Head: Part 5 is great for an insight into how Alex’s faith helps him. It may inspire you too.

I’d also suggest having a read of Just Hold On.  I hope it will help you. I also want to say to you that you are not alone. Even in the darkest of times there are people who are that little bit of light. Remember they’re there. Reach out if you can. Despite what your head is telling you, they care.

My next recommendation is for all the friends and family. Have a read of The Onus. I hope it helps put some things into perspective for you and will motivate you to make the first move. You really don’t know how important that gesture can be.

Like Alex says: It could save a life.

Why not subscribe?

Subscribe today to receive a free chapter from my eBook “Pills and Blades”, a subscriber-exclusive podcast episode and more!

Become a PatronDisclaimer: I am not an expert, nor am I medically qualified.  This blog is based on my personal experiences only.  Always seek medical advice in the first instance.

 

A Little Inspiration

When Work becomes Joy

From their experience came pain; and from their pain came purpose; and from their purpose came beauty.I guess like a lot of people who’ve been doing their job for a long time, I’ve lost a lot of enthusiasm for it. To the point​ that sometimes I have to drag myself in because it’s only the pay cheque that’s motivating me.  Having worked on the phones for 16 years, I’d guess you can say I’ve become a little institutionalised!

But that’s my point. It’s a job, not a joy. I can do my day job almost in my sleep and in some respects I have been on autopilot with it. But I have no purpose with it.

I often say we meet certain people in our lives for a reason. And I can say with every confidence that there are plenty of reasons why Alex and I became friends when we did. This blog is one of them.

It’s given me a purpose.

This is not to say there are not other things in life that give me drive and purpose. But I take great joy from editing this blog, working on it with Alex (even when I get messages at 2am because inspiration has struck!) Most of all, we are getting messages, some of support for what we’re doing, but also from people who are going through their own shadows. It’s these messages that are driving me at the moment.

If what we’re doing can help even 1 person, that makes it more than worthwhile. When Alex sent across the post You Have a Purpose, it struck a chord with me on a lot of levels.

I have another purpose now that helps me push back my own negative thoughts and dark days. Even when I’m overwhelmed with my day job, home life, editing…. whatever, I see the good that’s coming from the work we’re doing.

So that’s my pick this week. If you’re having a dark day, have a read of You have a Purpose. Because believe me, we all do.

Why not subscribe?

Subscribe today to receive a free chapter from my eBook “Pills and Blades”, a subscriber-exclusive podcast episode and more!

Become a PatronDisclaimer: I am not an expert, nor am I medically qualified.  This blog is based on my personal experiences only.  Always seek medical advice in the first instance.