Practically Perfect – Part 4 – Wrong

Welcome to Part 4 of our Practically Perfect series.  Last week we looked at a couple of practicalities surrounding representative access and prepaid prescription certificates.  If you missed it, you can check it out here.  Today, we shall be looking at what happens when you get it wrong.  It’s unfortunately inevitable that, at some point, you will get it wrong, so let’s look at how we fix that.

Getting It Wrong

Everyone gets it wrong at some point.  It’s part of being human, part of life.  We’re fallible, we sometimes go with what we think is right without taking other avenues into consideration.  As such, we have the potential to screw things up royally without necessarily intending to.  But what do we do?  How do we right that wrong?  Let’s have a look.

Realise There’s A Problem

The first and most important thing is realising that there is a problem.  If you refuse to admit that there is anything wrong, you will never fix it and it’s likely that the whole situation will just get worse.  Think of the old adage about sweeping things under the rug and that should give you a pretty good idea.  The problems just get bigger and bigger until they’re noticeable.

Once you realise that there is a problem, you can fix it.  All too often I see problems where people are ignoring the fact that something is wrong.  It leads to relationships being strained and tense.  Realising there is a problem is very much the first step.

Give Them Space

Once you’ve identified that there is a problem, don’t rush into trying to fix it.  Give them a little space.  Sometimes they will need a little time to adjust to what’s happened, especially if it’s kicked them into a spiral.  As with everything I say, this is dependent on the person and what the person is like, as to whether or not it will work, but this is certainly one for me.

The reason I mention this one is because I know someone who, when they do something wrong and they realise there is a problem, will start bombarding with messages or phone calls to try and fix it.  This is one of the worst things that you can do, as it leads to them feeling badgered – something that I’ve mentioned in our series of Talking Things Through.

At the same time, you don’t want to leave it too long.  Going for over a week without speaking of what happened is equally bad, as it will conjure up all sorts of worst-case scenarios in their mind.  Is the friendship irreparable?  Can there be reconciliation?  Will they ever hear from you again?  Too many of those can spark another depressive spiral or anxiety attack.  I’m sure that’s the last thing you would want.

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Listen

This one is really the crux of the matter, especially if you don’t think you’ve done anything wrong or you think they are being a little oversensitive.  Don’t get me wrong, it could be that they are being oversensitive but you might also find that it is their mental health that has caused the problem.

As I’ve mentioned in Talking Things Through, listening can be key to solving the problem.  If it is their mental health that’s causing the issue, particularly in the case where you might not see the problem, then listening can open up their reasoning for it.  It can be a vital tool.

Learn From It

I suppose this one, along with apologising, goes without saying, really, but it’s still an integral part of when things go wrong.  Learning from the experience will help you avoid it next time.  If it’s related to their mental health, it’s really important to learn from it because it can prevent future problems down the line.  This is even more true if the problem may repeat itself due to something you would not normally have picked up on.

A good example of this is one that I’ve cited before where I was sitting in the car with my friend on a particularly bad day.  I hadn’t eaten anything for breakfast and, as we were driving, I wasn’t particularly interested in my lunch.  She was trying to get me to eat, telling me I needed to eat, and I ended up snapping.  It wasn’t anything that she had said, it was simply that I was having a really bad depression day.  Needless to say, she listened to what the problem was, learned from it and we haven’t had an experience like that since.

Next Week

Join us next week for wrapping up this series with one of the most important parts of my practical tips.  Cryptic, I know, but you will have to come back to find out what I’m referring to!  See you then!

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Become a PatronDisclaimer: I am not an expert, nor am I medically qualified.  This blog is based on my personal experiences only.  Always seek medical advice in the first instance.

Author: Alex Davies

Alex Davies is the creator and writer for Pushing Back the Shadows. Find out more about his journey here and connect with him on Facebook, Google+ and Twitter.

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