Feeling like a Failure

Why do we Fall?

Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up.The answer to this (admittedly abbreviated quote from Batman) is so we can pick ourselves back up again. We fail, but in failing we learn. We grow. It isn’t easy, believe me. I’m sitting here, writing this with over 50 marks across my stomach and leg attesting to my own failure in the early hours of this morning.

To Fail is Human

So, I’ve suffered another setback. Yet again, I’ve found myself dealing with the aftermath of a relapse. Today I feel like the biggest failure and it’s a lonely place to be. I’m usually the one supporting others, but today I’m not really much use to anyone. I’m scared I’m bringing everyone around me down, so all I want to do is hide.

But I’m human. I’m also suffering with mental illness. And I’m not alone. Just from our interactions on Twitter, I know I’m not the only one who slipped and fell into darkness again. Oddly enough, that’s why I’m writing this, it’s why I’m not hiding and avoiding my task of getting my pick of the week posted. To remind everyone who slips that they are not alone. We make mistakes.

Right now, I’m struggling to hold myself together and I’m angry at myself for feeling like this. I’m angry that I can’t seem to find the words to tell the person closest to me how very bad it got last night. All because my stupid depression is telling me how worthless I am. And that’s a mistake.

I am not worthless. I have a purpose. I am not alone. OK, so I’m struggling today, but how many people out there are also struggling? How many don’t feel like they can talk this morning or feel like they’re alone in this?

The answer is far too many. It’s one of the reasons I came on board when Alex asked me to edit on this site. We’re here to give support and encouragement to anyone going through this.

So maybe that’s why I failed last night. I’m not alone in this. And neither are you.

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Become a PatronDisclaimer: I am not an expert, nor am I medically qualified.  This blog is based on my personal experiences only.  Always seek medical advice in the first instance.

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